Stuck

My life feels stagnant. Normally, I'm more upset about this, but right now, I'm determined. I will do something with my life, even if I'm not sure what I'll be doing. I will not be another old lady in a diner. I wanted to wait tables to get through college, and that was supposed to be the end of it. I am grateful that my place of employment has worked with me through all the schedule changes and finals and transfers, but I need to move on. I paid $35,000 out of my own pocket to get out of this town, and that's still the plan. I'm ready for a change of scenery. Well, really, I've been ready for years. That's why I moved four hours away to go to college, right? To get away? And moving back home was the most humbling moment of my life, followed closely by the realization that some people will just never love you back. I'm going to get out of here eventually. I will not give up.

Antibiotics

I think this past week, I've been the sickest I've been in years. Thursday, I started to feel really weak, and my chest started hurting. I still went out for a drink with a friend, and I didn't think anything of it until I got home, and realized I was rocking a fever. The fever stuck around for FOUR DAYS. It was fun. I had to call off of work (something I never do), and go to the minute clinic at CVS (something I also never do). Ninety dollars later, and it's bronchitis, turning into pneumonia. Another thirty dollars later, and I'm on powerful antibiotics. Unfortunately, by the time I had meds in my system, my cough was so heinous it caused back spasms which lasted another two days. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I felt this awful. I even had to cancel coffee night with my best friend, which I hate doing. I usually go even if I'm a little under the weather. Ugh. I'm still pretty weak, but I feel so much better. Unfortunately, I'm still too weak for waitressing. I had a very mild night at work, and I was still completely exhausted. And I work again tomorrow. I have no idea how that's going to go. I got my tax return this week, which went right into savings. I'm desperately trying to save for a car. It's slow going, but I'm still optimistic. It would be easier if I could find full time work, but no luck yet. This weekend should be interesting. I'm helping my friend with stage one of moving. I'm going to use her move as an excuse to spend as much time around Chicago as possible this spring/summer. Note to self: take lots of corny pictures.

Fresh Start

I think I'll be giving this another go. I used to write in an online journal fairly regularly, but life gets in the way. I'm fairly certain I'm in the middle of some sort of "quarter-life crisis." Although, since I have no job lined up since graduating last year, no prospects, and I still live with my parents, I can't say it's unjustified. It's not that I'm ungrateful for what I have, it's just...difficult to stay positive. I do try to keep myself occupied, at least. I treated myself to a new Kathy van Zeeland bag, and I've been going through my room, trying to sort out what I need, and what I can live without. Not as easy as it sounds. I actually found a bunch of old papers and notes from high school. Yeah, that was nine years ago. Not sure I need any of that, but I can't seem to throw it away. The joys of being a pack rat. Anyway, I'm not sure how often I'll be writing on here, but it's my blog, so...deal with it.